this morning I woke up seeing the truth not for the first time but for the first time I knew it. I am slowly killing myself. Everyday I eats tons of sugar. I eat fried foods. I do not exercise. I lay in the bed and watch tv. I am slowly killing myself.
Today I looked myself in the face and asked WHY???
Do I value sugar more than I do my own life?
Is working out too hard for me?
Do I not love myself enough to want to be healthy?
Do I not love my kids enough to want to be around for them?
Do I want to be sick for the rest of my life?
The answer to every question is NO!!!!!
So then why do I do it? I don’t know, but I say to you this day that I will not longer be under the control of my cravings. I have to take back the control I gave over to food. I MUST make living healthy a part of my life. It has to be part of my daily routine just as washing my face and brushing my teeth are. I must not allow my hunger or cravings and laziness to overtake me again. Yes, I may slip up but I have to say it is ok and keep going.
My promise to myself is
I will exercise 6 days a week. I have no excuse. I have dvd’s, a stationary bike, an elliptical machine, a weight machine, and free weights in my home. I live very close to the cornice and I can walk there everyday if I want to get out.
I will not eat any refined sugar. Fruit and foods that naturally contain sugar will be my only source of that poison that enters my body.
No more fast foods.
I will eat eat healthy meals. No more low carb mess. No I wont eat refined carbs, but I will eat whole carbs and I will eat fruit. I will only eat meals I cook myself. No more processed foods.
I have to do this. If not for my then my kids. I have 3 children that depend on me. They love and adore me. I am thier only parent, Their dad died 9 yrs ago. I am it.
I have to do this. I will log in and post what my achievement and failures are. I will keep it up this time. I have to. I only have one life to live and It is time I start living.
I want to not be the fat mom. I dont want to be the mother that cant do things becuase she is embarrased. I want to wear clothes and feel like a woman of 41 not my grand mom. I feel old, I am sick, I do not have a life.
So I will be sore for a few days or weeks. I will be hungry for sugar. I will be going through withdraw for a few days. I will haev headachs. I will be cranky. I will be sad. But when it is over. a beautiful butterfly will emerge.
The new me, the real me………I will finally have a life.
I will live……..
God willing I will live