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Category Archives: change

I am getting used to drinking the nonsoy Medifast. I dont miss the bars as much as I thought I would. I have 7 boxes of them. I am goign to use them but not often. While I am not allergic to soy I now know how it will affect my bodu in large amounts. So I have to stick to one soy product maybe 3x a week at the most. I really think that may be too much but I will see how it goes. I also have 7 boxes of soups I may use them a few times a week also. I really enjoyed them and the chicken and rice has very low soy. Maybe my body can handle that more often. I am not ready to try it our right now But maybe in a few months. The shakes and snacks I will give away to a lady on my job. She SAYS she wants to try the program so maybe if I start her off she will continue on her own.

I have noticed my stomach has really gotten smaller. I am so full so fast. I mean if I overeat I am sick. My stomach feels like it is up in my chest. I love that. I think this will keep me from overeating later when I do transition. I also think it will help me this summer when I go back to the states.

I have not been home in 4 yrs. I am going to go visit all my family all over, Houston, Philly, Atlanta and my kids want to see a play in New York, and I want to do some skinny clothes shopping. . So I will be traveling and I will be around all kinds of food. This will be my real challange for me. In Philly I will be tempted with Philly cheesesteaks, Italian Ice, Soft Pretzels, and more. In Atlants all the soul food in the world is there, Houston, my mom.NUFF SAID …whos mother will not over do the cooking for their only child?? Then New York all the food from all over. I have already told my kids we will eat small amounts of food several times a day. There will be nooooooooooooo large anything even for them. They need to learn how to eat and be satisfied with correct portions and learn treats are just that ……..a treat not part of a meal and you dont get them all the time. My kids are thin as nails but that does not mean they are healthy.my huband was proof of that died of a heart attach at 41 and was then and in shape. I am hoping I can feel then the way I do today.

I am happy with MF. I knew this would be it for me. I knew this would help me in ways I never dreamed of. I feel better. I feel healthier. I dont have swollen legs anymore. I see my blood pressur getting lower. One day I am hoping I iwll be off of it forever. I do not have the desires for the same foods I one did. Yes, I still crave sweets but not the amounts I used to. I do nto think I need a dozen dounuts anymore. I dont want any fast foods. I am happy with the different verieties of salads and my Love affair with fish and seafood is better than any love I had with a man……..LOL

I am off work for 31 days. This is a struggle for rme. I find it easy to stay on plan whenI am working. I dont even think of food but here at home OMG. My kids and their tempting foods. It is not that I want to go get a big plate of anything it is just those BLT. I just want a taste of everything. I am happy I am satisfied with BLT’s but right now I cant have them. It can mess me up and I do nto need that. I cannot afford to waste MF and that is what I do everytime I cheat. I wante it becuse I am not allowing it to work the way it is suppose to. I think Iwill be on MF until the summer. That is NOT a long time to go without things I desire. When I compare it to a lifetime of feeling good and looking wonderful. I think 6 months of no BLT’s is a small sacrifice.

Oh well I am off to clean my room. I SOOOOOOO miss my live in maid. I have gotten so spoiled living here. Live in help is cheap as water. I  had a maid for 3 yrs and I feel lost without one now. I never had one at home but I swear having one makes you really wonder how you ever manged without. The first time I had to clean my bathroom after my maid went home I was like…EWWWWWWWW I used to do this………HOW??LOL

TTFN

Nisaa

Grab your dreams and run with them. Dont allow your nightmares to take them away 🙂

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I had to take a peek and look at the scale and it is finally movining the right direction. I am down 5lbs in 3 days. I had to change my diet plan. I did my exercises for one week and slowly changed my eating.  The next week I ate a bit better and now this week I am 100% eating the way I want. I have found some sugar free ice pops and other frozen deserts an they have hepled alot.  I am a sugar feen and when I need sugar I will get it in any form, bread, candy, cookies, cake, whatever…..  Now I am good I feel like I am getting the sweets I need and I am getting results.

I know this has to be a way of life change. I have to stop eating sugar for the rest of my life. The other day I was hungry and wanted a quick meal. I was thinking of eating a eggo waffle. I sat in bed thinking to myself how it is only 70 calories and it is no big deal and I will use sugar free syrup and can restart my “diet ” the next day. I am gald I continued to think. It hit me that I have to think of things I can not eat as poison becuase to me they are. It may be ok for my kids to eat a piece of bread or snack on a real ice pop but for me I cant do it becuase it will kill me. LITERALLY kill me; everytime I eat sugar I am upping my chances for diabeaties to knock at my door. everytime I overeat and stop my diet I am waiting on my heart to stop beating. I cant eat the way I would LIKE to eat. I have to chose carefully and stick to my eating plan.

As a mother to three children that has no father I have to do this. My husband was very thin and I thought healthy but he died of a heart attack at 41. I am 41 now and I am not healthy and I do have medical issues. I am a walking time bomb if I do not lose this weight.  I want to see grand kids I want to see my kids grow up. I do not want to die becuase of food.  I have better reason to live for…………

 

breakfast eggbeaters and veggies

lunch

salad

dinner

chicken burger with veggies

snacks

2 ice pops and jello

worked out only 30 mins on the bike 😦 I was sad and could not finish.

tomorrow will be better 🙂

 

My body hurts. I have been doing my new dvd. It is by CathE. Oh my goodness she is in good shape. I am doing her weightlifting series. It is 45 mins of working the entire body. we do dumbells and the barbell, they do a band I do not have one yet so I use what I have.

I am doing it every other day along with my cardio. On the other days I just do 2 hours of cardio. I have my kids joing in with me. They use 1 kg weights only. My older daughter can handle more weight but she is lazy.

I also have a donna Richardson oleschool dvd I am going to try today.  If I have the strength.

Food well I had a few set backs. I had some chocolate but only 1 bar all week. U susally i buy 3 at a time so that is progress. I have been reading on food combining and I may try to use some of that I read into my diet. It is kind of what I was doing anyway but It even talks about not mixing certain fruits. I was doing protien and veggies, carbs and veggies and fruit alone. They say meat and veggies, no meat and other protiens, like no eggs and bacon. so I can eat an eggs and veggie omlet but no meat. They also go into the different fruits but all i remember is mellons are to be eaten alone…… and never eat dessert right after dinner wait an hour.

Ok well thats my week……see you nest week

this morning I woke up seeing the truth not for the first time but for the first time I knew it. I am slowly killing myself. Everyday I eats tons of sugar. I eat fried foods. I do not exercise. I lay in the bed and watch tv. I am slowly killing myself.

Today I looked myself in the face and asked WHY???

Do I value sugar more than I do my own life?

Is working out too hard for me?

Do I not love myself enough to want to be healthy?

Do I not love my kids enough to want to be around for them?

Do I want to be sick for the rest of my life?

 

The answer to every question is  NO!!!!!

 

So then why do I do it? I don’t know, but I say to you this day that I will not longer be under the control of my cravings. I have to take back the control I gave over to food. I MUST make living healthy a part of my life. It has to be part of my daily routine just as washing my face and brushing my teeth are. I must not allow my hunger or cravings and laziness to overtake me again. Yes, I may slip up but I have to say it is ok and keep going.

My promise to myself is

I will exercise 6 days a week. I have no excuse. I have dvd’s, a stationary bike, an elliptical machine, a weight machine, and free weights in my home. I live very close to the cornice and I can walk there everyday if I want to get out.

I will not eat any refined sugar. Fruit and foods that naturally contain sugar will be my only source of that poison that enters my body.

No more fast foods.

I will eat eat healthy meals.  No more low carb mess. No I wont eat refined carbs, but I will eat whole carbs and I will eat fruit. I will only eat meals I cook myself. No more processed foods.

I have to do this. If not for my then my kids. I have 3 children that depend on me. They love and adore me. I am thier only parent, Their dad died 9 yrs ago. I am it.

I have to do this. I will log in and post what my achievement and failures are. I will keep it up this time. I have to. I only have one life to live and It is time I start living.

I want to not be the fat mom. I dont want to be the mother that cant do things becuase she is embarrased. I want to wear clothes and feel like a woman of 41 not my grand mom. I feel old, I am sick, I do not have a life.

So I will be sore for a few days or weeks. I will be hungry for sugar. I will be going through withdraw for a few days. I will haev headachs. I will be cranky. I will be sad. But when it is over. a beautiful butterfly will emerge.

The new me, the real me………I will finally have a life.

I will live……..

God willing I will live

 

 

I sometimes wonder if all this meat eating will kill me. I have never eaten as much food as I am eating now. I know I am losing weight and this will make my whole body healthier.  But I dont know if this will make my heart bad while making my body better. I know that sonds crazy but this is whats on my mind today.

I think I willlay off the scale. I have been on that thing everymorning. I need to stop. I will not get on it again umtil the 9th. If I do everything right but have no weigth loss I quit. Maybe my body is a slow burner. I have heard of people losing 15 lbs in the first 2 weeks. Me I have barly lost 4 lbs. I weighed myself and one day Im down 4 lbs the next I gained 2 then the next I am down 1 then next I am up another pound. I am going crazy.

I also came accross these great recipies and I thought I would share them with you.

OIAB this is a candy

Ingredients:
5 Squares unsweetened baking chocolate
6 T Unsalted butter
Extra butter to grease muffin tins
4 C Splenda granular
3 C + 6 T Heavy Whipping cream
24 ozs Cream cheese
3 T Unsweetened cocoa powder
6 T Sugar free peanut butter
Cooking Instructions:
Grease 24 muffin cups with butter and place tins in freezer.Melt unsweetened chocolate with 6 T of butter.

crab cakes

Ingredients:
1 pound lump crabmeat, picked over for cartilage etc.1/2 cup mayonnaise

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1 egg, beaten

1/2 teaspoon Old Bay seafood seasoningdash of salt

optional – oil for frying

Cooking Instructions:
In a large glass bowl, fold ingredients together taking care to coat all of the crabmeat. Mold into 4 patties. Place on baking sheet. Bake for 20 minutes. Serve.Or alternately, pan fry in oil lightly for 2-3 minutes. Remove and place on paper towels to drain

stuffed mushroom

Ingredients:
8 Medium Portobello Mushrooms — cleaned
8 Oz shrimp — chopped fine
1 C mushrooms — chopped fine
1/2 C onions — chopped fine
3 Oz Butter
1 Oz Olive Oil
1 T Garlic — minced
2 Medium eggs
2 T Chicken boullion
2 C Almond flour
1 T parsley
1 t coarse ground black pepper
2 Ozs white wine
12 Oz crabmeat — shredded
8 Oz Mozzarella Cheese — shredded
Cooking Instructions:
Brush Portobellos with olive oil and grill until done approx 5-7 minutes.Meanwhile saute shrimp, mushrooms, and onions in butter, olive oil and garlic until shrimp turns pink. Remove from heat, add all other ingredients and mix well until mixture becomes firm. Add an additional egg or additional almond flour until the mixture can easily be formed by hand into balls. Place approx 4-5 ounces into portobello mushroom, spreading so that it covers from edge to edge.

Sprinkle with shredded mozzarella, and broil until cheese starts to brown. Serve.

I got on the scale. I lost 4 lbs this week. I am happy. I know it is not as good as it could have hbeen. I didnt work out very much. This week will be better. I will get off my BUTT more. I will stay motavated.

Today I found happiness in a candy bar. YES!!! a low carb sugar free candy bar. I am in love. This thing is just what I needed. The only problem I have on this diet is I sometimes get a real craving for chocolate or sweets. Now I can have it. I am SOooooooooooo happy.

Today I worked out. I ate only what I was suppose to eat and I feel good now. I am about to go to bed and for the first time EVER I really feel like I can do this I can lose weight. What excuse can I have. I found recipes for many new foods that are low carb. I even found a cheesecake 🙂 I may not work out as much as I like to right now but I am moving.  My weigh in is Sunday. We will see how well I do.

I went out and brought myself a mini gym. I have an elliptical machine. I have a sit-up thingy. I have a weight machine that will work every part of my body. I have a stationary bike; one with a big seat so by booty wont feel like crap when I ride. I have tapes if I chose to do step or ab exercises. So, why is it so hard for me to walk my butt in that room? Why is it that I no long feel good about working out.

I used to enjoy working out. But lately after I gained this 20 lbs. I just have no interest in it. I No longer feel happy when I finish. I hate that. I really do. I know the only way I am going to lose weight and get healthy is to move and work my heart. Yes, I can do a low carb diet and lose weight but my real need is to get HEALTHY. I want to stop all the medical problems that come with being overweight before they start. I want to lower my resting heart rate. I want to make sure I do not get diabetes. I want to make sure I am not taking 10-15 pills a day like many older people do. I have to face the face that being an older person is right around the corner. I am over 40. 50 will be here before I know it. My 30s went by quickly and I am sure my 40s will go by even faster. I know in order to no do the things I don’t want to do; and to get the results, I want I have to move my body.

so what I did was set goals. My big goal is to do better than I was before I gained my 20 lbs over my 3 week break. Yes, I gained it in 3 weeks!!!!

I used to ride my bike and hour a day 4 days a week. I used to do 100 sit up on my thingy. I also used to used the weight machine 2x a week. So my short term goal is to do that. My long term goal is to ride the bike 5x a week for        1 1/2 hours, ride the elliptical machine 30 min 3x a week, get up to 200 sit ups, and use the weight machine 4x a week.  Yeah that is alot but i have seen people do more than that. I know i can break it down to work out more than once a day. I am up at 4 am I do not leave for work until 745. I have tons of time in the morning. I am home from work by 2 pm. I can put in an hour in the afternoon.

Now that I have a plan I have to put it in motion. So this morning I did 45 mins on my bike. My plan is to do another 45 when I get home and try to do some sit-ups.

My diet for today will be

breakfast

spinach and egg

lunch

fish and broccoli

dinner

curry chicken and broccoli

If I get a sweet tooth I made a low carb desert; or I can have a sugar piece of candy.

Pray for me

I know I am overweight. I have known this for a long time. Many time….time after time I have wanted to lose weight and keep it off. However, for what ever reason I have not been able to do it. This time I HAVE to do it. I have to suceed where I have failed before.

I am 41. I spent all my 30s overweight. I have to end this cycle. I have children I do not want this to be theri only example of how a mother shoudl look or feel. I need to feel healthy. I have been scared everyday that I may have a heartattack but not scared enough to stop eating. What is wrogn with that. Too many things to even go into. The one thing I will say is I know in order to lose weight I have to concor my demons. I have to look myself in the face and accept that I am an emotional eater. I use food to calm my nerves. I also need to get off my fat butt and get healthy.

So I, like millions of other peopel all over the world resolve to lose weight this year….not just a few pounds…but, ALL MY WEIGHT!!

I will exersize at least 5 days a week. I will ride my stattionary bike an hour a day. I will go to the gym to take a class. I will do that to maybe make some friends that are over weight and we can help each other to stick with it.

I will cut down on my sugar, cakes, candy, and breads. I will stick to the low carb diet. I will stay away from foods the trigger my bindg eatting.

I will blog my ups and downs.

I will be honest.

I will love myself no matter how I do.

I will not only lose weight but get healthy physically and mentall.

If i stick to this. I will see results.

Pray for me