As I lose pounds and inches everyday I see other things I have to shed in order to make this a true lifestyle change. I see it is not only about losing weight but about losing the unwanted behaviour that got me in this situation.
I had to learn how NOT to jump at all food. I used to run every time a craving or mood hit me. I used to think abotu Krispy Kreams and go running……..I have had to learn not to do this. I have had to aquire things that will allow me to not do the same things I used to do. I cannot change one thing and think that is enough to last a life time. I have to make a complete change.
I have learned that food is not my friend, he is not my loved, he is not my protector, he is not my savior; but I treated him like he was. I used to LOVE food. I mean the smells of some foood would send me in a high. I would get happy. The though tof going to my favorite chineese place gave me joy……Golden coral made me think of all the wonderful things I would haev to choose from. When I think of it now I am amased at how I allowed this to happen in the first place. WHO LOVES FOOD THAT MUCH??? well many people do.
Many people have formed unhealthy relationships with food. Many peopel use food to numb their lives. when My husband died I think I cooked more than I have in my life. That year I know I constantly cooked good fatening foods. I baked cakes and pies, I cooked mac and chees and sweet potatoes, I make home made cornbread, I made all my favorite foods. Not just once in a while but on a weekly basis. Food became my lover when my real one left me.
How do youreplace a husband that dies. When a person gets a divorce you can plan and you know it is comming. When my husband died it was sudden it was in an instant. He was there and then he was gone. I didnt know how to cope so I turned to the only thing that had never failed me……food. I knew he would alsways be around.
Now as I try to divorce myself from my old habbits nd fromthe foods that are not good for me. I am having a hard time breaking the cycly. I know MF works. I have no doubt in that. I know if you stay on plan you will lose weight and you will stay full. I know this BUT that still does ot keep me from wanting to buy krispy creams. I have to not give in. Before I had no self control. NOw I know it is only a craving and it will pass. I know one Krispy Kream will throw everythign I am working for out the window. I know that sugar rush will be followed by a long hard fall.
I will feel guilty and fall into a cycle of anger, sadness and frustration. I for the first time in my life dont think it is worth it. I am worth more than sugar. My health is more important than fried bread dipped in sugar. I look at myself and see the thin me.
I WILL BE THIN!!!
Not onlybecuae I want it but because for the first tiem I feel I am worth it