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Monthly Archives: April 2008

My body hurts. I have been doing my new dvd. It is by CathE. Oh my goodness she is in good shape. I am doing her weightlifting series. It is 45 mins of working the entire body. we do dumbells and the barbell, they do a band I do not have one yet so I use what I have.

I am doing it every other day along with my cardio. On the other days I just do 2 hours of cardio. I have my kids joing in with me. They use 1 kg weights only. My older daughter can handle more weight but she is lazy.

I also have a donna Richardson oleschool dvd I am going to try today.  If I have the strength.

Food well I had a few set backs. I had some chocolate but only 1 bar all week. U susally i buy 3 at a time so that is progress. I have been reading on food combining and I may try to use some of that I read into my diet. It is kind of what I was doing anyway but It even talks about not mixing certain fruits. I was doing protien and veggies, carbs and veggies and fruit alone. They say meat and veggies, no meat and other protiens, like no eggs and bacon. so I can eat an eggs and veggie omlet but no meat. They also go into the different fruits but all i remember is mellons are to be eaten alone…… and never eat dessert right after dinner wait an hour.

Ok well thats my week……see you nest week

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this morning I woke up seeing the truth not for the first time but for the first time I knew it. I am slowly killing myself. Everyday I eats tons of sugar. I eat fried foods. I do not exercise. I lay in the bed and watch tv. I am slowly killing myself.

Today I looked myself in the face and asked WHY???

Do I value sugar more than I do my own life?

Is working out too hard for me?

Do I not love myself enough to want to be healthy?

Do I not love my kids enough to want to be around for them?

Do I want to be sick for the rest of my life?

 

The answer to every question is  NO!!!!!

 

So then why do I do it? I don’t know, but I say to you this day that I will not longer be under the control of my cravings. I have to take back the control I gave over to food. I MUST make living healthy a part of my life. It has to be part of my daily routine just as washing my face and brushing my teeth are. I must not allow my hunger or cravings and laziness to overtake me again. Yes, I may slip up but I have to say it is ok and keep going.

My promise to myself is

I will exercise 6 days a week. I have no excuse. I have dvd’s, a stationary bike, an elliptical machine, a weight machine, and free weights in my home. I live very close to the cornice and I can walk there everyday if I want to get out.

I will not eat any refined sugar. Fruit and foods that naturally contain sugar will be my only source of that poison that enters my body.

No more fast foods.

I will eat eat healthy meals.  No more low carb mess. No I wont eat refined carbs, but I will eat whole carbs and I will eat fruit. I will only eat meals I cook myself. No more processed foods.

I have to do this. If not for my then my kids. I have 3 children that depend on me. They love and adore me. I am thier only parent, Their dad died 9 yrs ago. I am it.

I have to do this. I will log in and post what my achievement and failures are. I will keep it up this time. I have to. I only have one life to live and It is time I start living.

I want to not be the fat mom. I dont want to be the mother that cant do things becuase she is embarrased. I want to wear clothes and feel like a woman of 41 not my grand mom. I feel old, I am sick, I do not have a life.

So I will be sore for a few days or weeks. I will be hungry for sugar. I will be going through withdraw for a few days. I will haev headachs. I will be cranky. I will be sad. But when it is over. a beautiful butterfly will emerge.

The new me, the real me………I will finally have a life.

I will live……..

God willing I will live